Something i listen to a lot of late

It’s this one song which I love a lot at the moment, by Iron and Wine. It’s a gentle song but the singer’s voice is just… stroking me real soothingly. I’d fall asleep to that voice.

Some days her shape in the doorway

Will speak to me

A bird's wing on the window

Sometimes I'll hear when she's sleeping

Her fever dream

A language on her face

"I want your flowers like babies want God's love

Or maybe as sure as tomorrow will come"

Some days, like rain on the doorstep

She'll cover me

With grace in all she offers

Sometimes I'd like just to ask her

What honest words

She can't afford to say, like

"I want your flowers like babies want God's love

Or maybe as sure as tomorrow will come"

Fever Dream by Iron and Wine


Don't really make a clear head or tails of this one. Just listen to it, it calms.

Happy New Year.

My March Mushaboom. It took me two months, countless great friends, and other-worldly moments to realize this. It took me less than two hours to write all this. It’s what I’ve learnt for this year, and while I’m at it, I do admit, it’s an awesome start… Happy New Year coz its never too late! J

There comes a time when you just need to be alone, to find yourself.

Never compare your life to someone else’s, when you are already struggling to be who you are.

Your true friends are those who remain with you when life gets rougher than ever. Your true friends will believe in you before believing what others say.

We are always arriving, no matter to where or what it is, coz your goals are everlasting, and your dreams will keep getting better, will keep u reaching higher.

I realized how young I still am, so why should I make such a big deal out of the small things in life? Why not take life as it is, one day at a time, and appreciate every single moment you have?

You will only know how good something was until it’s gone. What you’re left with is just regret.

(But regretting doesn’t work. Coz we gotta pick up from where we screwed up, and keep learning from our mistakes. Keep trying to make life better.)

Happiness is simple. All you gotta do is smile, let it go, and be positive. It don’t take a genius to be happy, the earliest feelings a baby experiences is happiness.

I don’t mean to have recovered so fast, but I just did, and you know what, all I know is that it wasn’t worth it after all, fighting for something that would not hold. Sometimes when you thought you reached the end, it so happens to be the launch of yours truly.

Sometimes you need your peace of mind to become a little wiser. Sometimes, it’s good to block out all those voices around to hear your own.

And remember, take responsibility for every complaint and blame in your life, coz every one of them was your decision in the first place.

Act on every word you say, people will respect you for that and start taking you seriously.

Never forget, your worst enemy has always been the one staring at you in the mirror. So start making friends and start being fair to yourself.

What I learnt is I should love myself before I can love anyone. And someone once told me, make sure the guy you eventually choose loves you more than you love him. Someone who would stop at nothing to be with you is the one for keeps.

I’ll take my time to discover that.

What I learnt is, I should never lose myself to anything in this world.

But what I know is, most people talk through their lips, but you and I talk best with our lips.

I am loving myself now. 

Have you ever compared your weekends?

I am only fine-tuning my comparison capabilities for this post. The two unlikely subjects are this weekend and last weekend. Does it sound like another boring topic for you? Haha, boring it be not.

So what are the differences between these two weekends? Last weekend lasted till Monday night. At least it felt like that because I had a dinner outing that night. I had an awesome night out on Friday, and a girly slumber party from Saturday to Sunday. And yes, I shopped a lot a lot! This weekend, I had no awesome night out, because I felt I needed to pick up on stuff I neglected, like bills, work, assignments, the works. I turned down a Saturday night out call. And, I didn’t even buy anything at all on Sunday to warrant me a shopping offense.

Last weekend I spent with my Sabahan friends, but this weekend, I spent it with a Sarawakian woman, way older than the friends I was with last week. It was my first interview alone for the magazine, and it was one great experience. I learnt a lot from her. She told me I need to build my profile for my portfolio while I'm still in Uni. And little did I know, she was interviewing me too! I will be writing a feature on her business which will be in Breeze’s next issue.

Talk about sleep. Yes, I slept very well last weekend on Sunday, and I think Monday too. But this weekend, my sleeping patterns have gone haywire. I slept at 2am last Saturday night and overslept till 11am the next morning, and was so late for church. Had to get a cab, the driver was talking to me the whole journey through, just being annoying. And on Sunday night, I could hardly sleep a wink. From 2am till 6am I kept tossing and turning, half asleep, and before my alarm could go off, I was already out of bed. I think it was the stress of my feature article. I wanted to nail the perfect piece, and there was self-made pressure to please the woman I was writing the article for.

Prepare for the worst comparison between both weekends. I was without my essential toiletries from Thursday night to Monday morning onwards. I had left my pouch at my friends place on Thursday! So the toothbrush I used was one a friend of mine uses when she sleeps over. Yes, it is so unhygienic but I couldn’t stand it anymore. There was no spare toothbrush. And, I couldn’t use my special facial cleanser which my skin is used to. Not to mention, moisturizer, makeup remover, razor. I had to use an Estee Lauder makeup removing milk cleanser to wash my face everyday. Thankfully, there were no break outs on my skin. Last week, I was well pampered, even had manicure and pedicure!

This week, some girlfriends and I had a ladies’ night out at G6, The Gardens. We were so dressed up to kill but two others didn’t manage to change into fancy outfits. We spent the evening playing Truth or Truth, and laid our dirty secrets out on the table. All in all, it was a fun time bonding with them! I had another sleepover too, where we chatted into the night, and tossed around all night, unable to sleep tight.

On Friday, there was a class 5-in-1 party in Klang. What I remember most about that BBQ was me squished with two guys in the backseat all the way through the jam from Subang to Klang, and boy band soft porn on MTV at the party. As in only topless guys go, and simply, in modern terms, GAY. They were frolicking around the beach with one another. No, it doesn't turn girls on. We spent the middle part of the evening watching Made of Honour, which I find a rather silly, predictable movie. I mean, who goes to Ireland and decides to get married within 6 weeks? Which stud goes around New York, getting girls who self scribble their phone number onto his coffee cup? But I have to admit, the games we had at the BBQ games ‘sick’, the 7 Up one and the Mushroom one, where the penalty is a shot of Martell (In our case, a sip of highly diluted Martell for responsible driving). Best of all ultimately are the BBQ chicken wings of course!

So yeah, that was my back to back comparison of both weekends. Back to reality now for me: assignments.

Hoorah to this week. I’m nailed for Friday brunch at Midvalley’s Delicious. That’s the only thing I’m looking forward to as of now. Feel free to fill my week!

hello, Monday

It’s a Monday and its time for my Happy List moments again.

Reasons I’m happy:

1.       I’m not sad.

2.      I’ve got a heavy and happy week ahead!

3.       I’ve got projects to do that will keep my mind off negativity.

4.      I’ve got my friends to keep me company!

5.       Because people believe I can make it through.

6.      Holiday plans are just around the corner.

I’ve been hitting the malls again. It’s CRAZIEE. But it makes me happy.

I’m still addicted to lingerie even though I don’t have a boyfriend. I bought so many new ones and am still gonna get more.

The interesting theories I’ve heard (and funny) is I should continue buying lingerie to make myself happy. The other one is I should buy whatever lingerie I want no matter how foxy and cute they are, coz it will attract a boyfriend in no time. Apparently, pretty lingerie underneath makes the wearer glow on the outside!

Pause; PLAY

It’s a week since I’ve come back to KL. I never thought I’d ever look forward to coming back so much. Many sad things have happened over the holidays, but that’s the way of life, isn’t it?

I come back, and I come alone. But not quite lonely. I come back with so much plans, so many goals, filled with every desire to change my life. So many people around me, I never knew I had them when I needed them the most, and they come just like angels from the sky.

So how can I be lonely? They do so much for me, I have to return them a favour. By being myself, searching my heart, putting words into action.

People make mistakes all the time. I did them, but they’re all behind me now.

I just wanna thank all of you out there for putting my heart back in place, and pulling me back to the ground. You guys make me feel loved, worthy, and strong.

All of you whom I care for, thank you for being there to see me at my weakest, for letting me guide myself under your eyes, and giving yourself as examples.

For all the good times I had with you guys, which turned out as ugly messes, thank you for letting me collapse and taking me out of my comfort zone.

For every phone call in the middle of the night, text messages when I least expect, and long conversations on MSN, you all inspire me and give a little boost each time. It kills each lonely night.

I wish I can name each of you, but you know who you are, and let’s keep it in our hearts. I love all of you, and thank you forever.

Your time, shoulders, and space in the heart for me led me to understand myself and all my mistakes.

Thank you for the books, the chips, the sleepovers, the outings, the long talks, the hugs.

I’m on my way to being a better person, and I’ll start it with a smile.