Lately I can’t find much to blog about. Life is getting boring. Oh, not so boring after all maybe. I just remembered, am planning a year end trip with my boyfriend. It’s been a pain to get everything completed perfectly, I want the bookings to be all done well in advance but you know how it is with guys. Ok, I shouldn’t be so cruel. He’s been working hard and all, and he is forgetful, so hence, no early reservations to cut the costs.
I’ll go backwards to jog my memory. On Saturday, sudhan asked me and joey to his open house for deepavali. I think this is the first deepavali open house in my life. Discovered I am a virgin in many ways :O The great thing about it was the train tracks at the Jalan Templer KTM station outside his house. We had to cross the tracks (or for safety, the bridge but it took too much time) to get to his house. It was my very first time crossing train tracks, and for most of us, we are cruelly reminded of how gruesome deaths end in train track crossing scenes from the movies. I was trying to not think about it. I was actually not too scared of crossing, because the trains only come every twenty minutes. J
Joey was totally hyper about the occasion, and was dancing away and singing ‘Country Road’. And we all took some snapshots of ourselves on the train track. The food at Sudhan’s was great: I love the snacks the most! I loved the peanut butter flour thingie, and the muruku, but I was craving for the spiky ones. Those have the spiciness that I can’t survive without! Leh Bin and Esmee were there earlier, and we sat and talked and ate and ate and ate! Thanks Sudhan, for giving me that deepavali experience!
Joey and I together. At last she is beginning to display some dress sense!
Sudhan and I ;)
I've always wanted to do this on a train track.
I’ve been sleeping so much each afternoon after classes. I can’t help it, I don’t have enough sleep at nights. And I’ve been reading a novel by Anita Shreve called The Weight of Water. It is engaging enough, the English is good, but the only annoying thing about it is she weaves in and out from the present to the past from one paragraph to another.
What caught my eye was the water painting portrait of the woman on the cover. talk about Renaissance romance!
The book is based on a real life double murder that occurred a century ago, on Smutty Nose of the Isle of Shoals, where two Norwegian women were killed while Karen, a third woman managed to escape, who lived to write a memoir of her life and the circumstances that led up to the murder. In present time, Jean is on a photography assignment to Smutty Nose and immerses herself in the murders; she is accompanied by Thomas, her husband who is a poet and Billie, their five year old daughter. Together, they sail on board Morgan, with Thomas’ brother and his beautiful lover, Adaline.
The most interesting part is, Thomas and Adaline seem to be attracted to one another under Jean’s very eyes, and she is confused of her jealousy. Being one hungry for scandals and affairs, I am totally dying to find out how Jean handles it and if the husband and Adaline will make any wrong moves or admit anything to confirm Jean’s fears. I also enjoy Jean’s observations between the two and speculate the could-be’s or definitely’s as an active reader :P
Shreve dedicates alternate chapters to Karen’s memoir, and so far, all I can say is it is interesting to imagine how life could have been a century ago, at the words Karen uses to write her story. The descriptions are so rich, like they have all the time in the world to carve out their stories with beautifully selected prose. One thing that insatiates me about Karen’s memoir is how suggestively incestuous her relationship was with her older brother, Evan. And she seemed not to realize it. Or maybe that used to be how it was like between siblings, or that was purely an example of a wonderful brother-sister relationship.
Oh yes, I’ve not written out my Happy list of the week. I’m not looking forward to it, but a promise is a promise. Here goes.
1. Won’t be lonely anymore this weekend coz Arlena will be back to spend it with me! J
2. All holiday plans are thus far confirmed. Can hardly wait for it!
3. This week is by far the most relaxed week I’ve had in a while, and will be catching up on movies in the weekend.
4. As far as my shopping list and wishlists goes, I am not in need of any shopping for quite a while from now! Bravo!
5. Edgar has been doing better on his job, and it has assured me a lot.
6. I am determined to work everything out leading to my end of semester. All I need now is the strength!
A friend of mine told me the biggest dilemma she is facing in her relationship, and I can’t help feeling so sorry for her, coz I can feel the anguish and pain, and confusion that she is battling to handle. Yet at the same time, I can relate to her so well. She said that her boyfriend will be training in another country for several months, and she feels that she wouldn’t be able to take a long distance relationship. And yes, she is blessed with a great guy, and she has admitted to me he is wonderful but she can’t bear the thought of losing such a man after she had many bad experiences with the guys she met. The thing is, he might return to his country after the training and no confirmation to Malaysia. I know her restless spirit when I hear her let out her feelings, but I told her that if they are truly meant to be together, she would have to be strong and not let this distance severe what they have. It would end in tons of regret.
At this age, is it a rite of passage to learn to be separated from the one you love? It seems to me like many of my friends have to endure being separated from their boyfriends or girlfriends, as I have to go through as well. For me, it is painful, it is a challenge, and it makes me someone else when in this long distance relationship. I have right now. But we know we have found each other and no one can measure up to him and vice versa, and for this, no other guy would do for me, it is so rare to find someone like Edgar who is persistently making the relationship work. He knows how emotional I can get, and also how cold I can become.
No matter what insults I throw at him, he still comes back, and on the rare occasions where I try to make things right between us, he accepts me and I know he doesn’t want to lose me. So do I. I think I have reached the age where I can’t play around in relationships anymore, I’m an old sappy sentimental now. I’m searching for a stable relationship, where I can find assurance, security, and belonging. There are no more childish pursuits. I know him well and he knows me too. What else can any person ask for, if they already have this?
Of course, it is important that romance and surprises are a big part of relationships. I need them both, or I’d be almost gone from a relationship. I can’t bear having a dead relationship. Those who have it, are I think, wasting their time. Life should give one satisfaction, and life is about finding that sweet spot.
